Are you sick and weary of relationships that drain you, make you feel bad, unsupported, and unfulfilled? If so, it’s time to start a journey of conscious relationships and end the cycle of RelationshiTs.
Mutual respect, trust, and open communication are the cornerstones of healthy relationships, in which partners collaborate to create a caring and supportive atmosphere. In contrast, RelationshiTs are perpetually negative, unsatisfying, and sometimes even abusive, with partners manipulating, controlling, belittling one another or even gaslighting.
Building conscious relationships takes effort from all parties involved, but I strongly believe that it all starts with self-work. We can create the relationships we want and deserve by committing ourselves to continuous self-improvement and not shying away from seeking professional mental health support when necessary.
Regardless of your sexual orientation, relationship style, or lifestyle, building conscious relationships is possible for everyone. Good, healthy relationships are meant to allow us to grow and become a better version of ourselves. Although conflicts and challenges may arise from time to time, how we deal with them is critical. Instead of viewing these challenges as setbacks, we can see them as opportunities for growth as individuals and partners, strengthening our bonds and forming meaningful relationships.
In this post, we’ll look at some tips and resources for building healthy relationships.
Creating Conscious Relationships: Practical Tools and Suggestions to Level Up Your Relationship Game
Building Conscious Relationships: Useful Resources and tips to Improve Your Relationship
Communication
Healthy relationships require open and honest communication. Make time for regular conversations with your partners if you want to build strong, meaningful bonds. The following strategies will help you communicate better in relationships
Practice active listening
When your partner is speaking, give them your full attention and try to understand their perspective. Avoid interrupting or planning your response in your head while your partner is talking. When you do this, you not only stop listening to what your partner is saying, but you also unintentionally enter a reactive mode. Instead, take a few seconds to process what they have said before responding. The intention of the conversation is not to cause conflict, but to understand and hear each other out fully. Oftentimes, when you fail to do this, your partner feels unheard and unreachable to you, which can escalate into a conflict.
Use “I” statements
When you say, “You never listen to me…”, your partner only feels the blame. Nobody likes being blamed or accused. Instead, especially during disagreements or conflicts, you could say, “I feel ignored when you don’t give me your full attention.” This is always a better option. This minor shift can work wonders; it removes blame from your partner while also revealing your vulnerability.
When the other person expresses their thoughts or feelings, try to remain open and nonjudgmental. Even if you don’t agree with them, validate their feelings and let them know you’re listening. We must also be open to receiving feedback in order to grow as individuals and partners.
Authenticity
Authenticity in relationship is about being true to yourself and freely sharing your thoughts and feelings. When we are authentic, we become vulnerable. Authenticity and vulnerability are some of the most essential ingredients for creating deep, meaningful, conscious relationships because they allow you to connect with others on a deeper level and show them who you truly are. The following are some strategies you could use:
Express yourself honestly
Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts and feelings with the other person. Be true to yourself.
Be vulnerable
Vulnerability is an essential part of building deep, conscious relationships. In fact, vulnerability is so attractive! Share your deepest thoughts, feelings, and stories with your partners while allowing yourself to be seen and heard.
Avoid pretending
Being yourself is one of the most important things you can do in life. It is easy to fall into the trap of wanting to impress others by pretending to be someone you’re not. It really isn’t worth it, I know this from personal experience.
For most of my teenage, I found it hard to express myself, my sexuality, gender, and all that. It meant that I had no friends; I was afraid of people finding out about me, and I thought something was wrong with me. I have always been genderfluid, pansexual, and polyamorous. Sometimes, even within the LGBTQ community, I have often felt alone. The society we live in can be cruel, but we are the ones who created it. We need to start somewhere. In my case, I was just exhausted from trying to be someone I wasn’t, and in the end, I realised that accepting myself for who I am and being honest with myself could be one of the easiest ways to live. With all of my self-work and reflections over time, I was finally able to muster the courage to simply be. Since then, I’ve made some amazing friends and partners who have supported me through thick and thin over the past decades. Being vulnerable and presenting ourselves as our true selves is the only way to form meaningful relationships.
Of course, there are times in relationships when it’s difficult to be vulnerable, particularly when there is a conflict. But the more you are authentic and vulnerable with your partner, the more safe space you are creating for them as well. Eventually, this all add up to create a safe space where your relationships can flourish in a healthier setting where conflicts are settled peacefully in a way that is both healthy and compassionate.
Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and experience another person’s emotions and perspectives. Empathy is an important element to foster mutually respectful and caring relationships.
Consider your partner’s perspective: Try to see things from your partner’s point of view to truly understand where they’re coming from. This isn’t always easy and requires a high level of self-awareness. But for a moment, consider how you would feel if you were the one on the other side of this equation. Could you have phrased things a little bit differently?
Validate their feelings: Telling your partner that you understand how they feel and reassuring them that their emotions are valid can help your relationship immensely. It is completely okay if you do not necessarily agree with their point of view. When emotions are high during a conflict, you don’t agree on everything. So, acknowledging their feelings, especially during a disagreement or conflict, shows empathy and it opens the door to mutual understanding. At the end of the day, everyone of us crave to be heard. When your partner feels heard, their nervous system relaxes, allowing more productive, compassionate discussions and eventual resolutions.
Every situation has multiple facets, and we often miss out on seeing or hearing what our partner is saying or feeling because we are too preoccupied with our own thoughts and ideas.
When we cultivate more self-awareness and take a step back to reflect on each situation, we gain immense control rather than being controlled by it. The more awareness we bring to the table, the stronger our relationships become.
Self-Care
Taking care of oneself is essential for developing conscious relationships. When we ignore our own needs, we become exhausted and burned out, which can lead to resentment and conflict in our relationships. Here are some ways to practise self-care.
Prioritize self-care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. This includes eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and doing things that bring you joy and peace. One person cannot meet all of your needs. So, as part of your self-care routine, you should have good, trustworthy friends with whom you can share your emotions and meet some of your needs.
Communicate your needs: It’s unrealistic to expect your partner to automatically understand what you need. Be clear and respectful in expressing yourself. For example, if you need alone time or help with a specific task, ask your partner directly instead of assuming they will notice your struggle and step in. Remember that asking for help shows strength, not weakness. Recognising when we need help and reaching out to our partners and friends requires a great deal of courage. When we do that, we save ourselves from reaching a breaking point.
Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are important in any relationships. Setting boundaries also shows you respect yourself and your energy. Communicate openly and honestly about your needs and desires, and encourage your partner to do the same. You can practise setting boundaries in simple steps. For example, create a list of activities and ask your partner to respond with yes, no, or maybe. This helps you understand each other’s comfort levels and preferences, resulting in mutual respect and understanding. This will help you plan activities that both of you will enjoy.
Setting boundaries in relationships can be approached in a variety of ways.
Communicate your boundaries clearly
Let your partner know what you are and are not comfortable with. Be assertive but respectful—remember, you’re talking to your lover, not your enemy.
Respect your partner’s boundaries
Respect your partner’s boundaries. A “no” is always a “no,” and a “maybe” is an also “no.” Anything less than an enthusiastic “yes” should be considered a “no.” If your partner says no, do not push for a yes. There are numerous ways to negotiate and reach an agreement that makes everyone feel comfortable, safe, and happy. Respecting your partner’s boundaries shows that you are kind, compassionate, mature, and sensible—qualities that make you even more attractive.
Building conscious relationships take time and effort, but the results are well worth it. Open communication, authenticity, empathy, self-care, and clear boundaries can all help you and your partners create fulfilling relationships. A relationship can make or break you. We are all wired for connection, and that is what makes us human. Having strong and fulfilling relationships gives us the courage to tackle all of life’s challenges. Remember: mutual respect, trust, and love are the foundation of healthy relationships. Building these kinds of relationships starts with each of us, nurturing growth and development through steady and consistent actions.
