Shibari, sometimes referred to as Kinbaku, is a centuries-old form of rope bondage practiced in Japan. “Shibari” literally means “to bind” in Japanese. It began between 1400-1700 AD as a martial technique known as hojojutsu and was employed by samurai to restrain their captives. Through Kabuki theater, rope bondage evolved from its martial arts roots…
Dating can be an exciting experience for anyone, but for those of us who practise ethical non-monogamy (I use the terms ethical non-monogamy and polyamory interchangeably in this article without ignoring the subtle differences between the two), it can feel like a completely different ballgame! I’ve been drawn to more than one person since I…
Kink is just one of several ways we can express our sexuality. I was first introduced to the world of kink in 2010, during the era of Yahoo groups. It was purely out of curiosity and a desire for new experiences in my life. It’s been an incredible journey since. Kink can take many different forms,…
Many years ago, I wrote this in my personal journal to help me understand and deal with my gender, genderfluidity, and dysphoria related issues. This post is about how being genderfluid has helped me navigate life, form deep, meaningful friendships and relationships that have stood the test of time from a space of vulnerability, care, and…
Monogamy never made sense to me, even from a young age. While I discovered the vocabulary to express my feelings about love and relationships much later in life, it always felt natural to love more than one person, both romantically and platonically. Thinking beyond monogamy has opened up a world of new possibilities for me,…
Have you ever wondered if having sex could bring us something more than just physical pleasure, something spiritual and fulfilling that leaves us feeling energised rather than depleted? I remember thinking this many years ago following a horrible sexual experience: “Good sex is the generation of energy, while bad sex is the consumption…” That evening,…
“The Ethical Slut” transports you to a world where traditional ideas about love and relationships are challenged, and love and intimacy are redefined. “The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love” is like a beginner’s guide to non-monogamous relationships. This is book is one of my…
Jealousy is a common human emotion, but many people in ethically non-monogamous relationships feel that they should not feel jealous at all. I have heard some of my poly friends mentioning how they even feel guilty for being jealous when their partner is out with someone else or in similar situations. Yes, I guess, it…
Have you ever noticed how often we catch ourselves saying things like, “Just jerk it off, man…,” or something similar? It’s always struck me as a little off-putting, you know? Isn’t it interesting that so many of us regard sex as merely a means to satisfy our physical and sexual desires? And please, don’t get…