Have you ever noticed how often we catch ourselves saying things like, “Just jerk it off, man…,” or something similar? It’s always struck me as a little off-putting, you know? Isn’t it interesting that so many of us regard sex as merely a means to satisfy our physical and sexual desires? And please, don’t get me wrong – I’m all for encouraging people to making self-love. I think it’s one of the best ways to know ourselves and our body better.
Anyway, I recently came across the idea of “energetic lovemaking” in a YouTube video, which got me thinking. Many of these ideas resonate deeply with me, which is why I started this blog in the first place. In this post, I’d like to share what I learned about energetic lovemaking.
Bibi Brzozka is a love and relationship coach who defines energetic lovemaking as conscious sexual exploration. It includes spiritual connections with oneself, one’s partner, and the universal energy. It is about diving into the many layers of our lives and seeking a deeper experience beyond the physical act itself through sex and intimacy.
What is Energetic Lovemaking?
Energetic lovemaking, as described by Brzozka, is a beautiful and intimate journey that goes beyond mere physical pleasure. Through connecting with the deeper layers of our being, we can experience a profound sense of connection and fulfillment that transcends the physical release in a remarkable way using our sexual energy. Energetic lovemaking happens when we are fully present in the moment, going deep into the depths of our souls and sensing how energy flows seamlessly from head to toe. This lovemaking experience allows us to form deeper connections with our inner world and our partners, reaching a profound and spiritual level of intimacy.
We are all energy, vibrating at various levels depending on our lived experiences and level of self-awareness. The more self-aware we are, the more we can tap into our latent energy and discover the Universe’s oneness. Energetic lovemaking could act as a means of connecting us to this oneness, providing opportunities for emotional and spiritual fulfilment through physical pleasure. Through energetic lovemaking, we can explore our sexuality consciously and mindfully, free of the shame and guilt that are frequently associated with sex and intimacy.
Here are some tips on how to practice energetic lovemaking with yourself or with your partner:
Finding Harmony with Your Yin and Yang Energies
Yin and yang, or feminine and masculine energies, represent complementary but opposing energies found in all beings. Yin is the feminine energy associated with darkness, passivity, and receptivity, whereas Yang is the masculine energy associated with light, activity, and assertiveness. They’re like water and fire. These two energies are interdependent and constantly changing, with one becoming dominant while the other recedes, then switching back and forth in a never-ending cycle of chaos, balance and harmony depending on how we harness these energies within.
We can find harmony with these energies by practicing yoga, meditation, tai-chi, and other mindfulness routines on a regular basis – essentially by connecting with ourselves in whatever ways work best for you – so that we become more self-aware of our inner and outer worlds.
All of us have both masculine and feminine energies, and striking a balance between the two provides a sense of grounding and inner stability. Only by increasing our self-awareness will we achieve a balance and harmony of these energies. The higher our self-awareness, the more control we have over our thoughts and actions. Self-awareness allows us to see how the yin-yang energies affect your emotions, thoughts, and behaviours. For instance, your assertive and goal-oriented side (the yang energy) motivates you to achieve your personal and professional goals, whereas your nurturing and empathic side (the yin energy) allows you to form strong, supportive, and healthier intimate relationships. We need both of these energies; we can’t have one of them constantly taking more control over us.
Create A Sacred Space
Create a clean comfortable space where you feel relaxed and welcomed. You could experiment with candles, soft lighting, clean, soft bedsheets, relaxing music, and whatever else to your liking. It important that you have privacy and you won’t be interrupted by anyone else while you do this.
Set clear intentions
Firstly, set a clear intention. If you’re planning to experience energetic lovemaking with yourself alone, your goal might be to connect with yourself and your inner world through conscious pleasure. If you are doing this with your partner, the goal may be to strengthen your intimacy and relationship. It could be to try and explore new sensations and pleasure or to learn more about your own body, such as your turn ons and offs. Or it could all just be to relax and have fun. Whatever that be, setting the intention right sets the tone of your energetic lovemaking. As you experience more and more energetic lovemaking sessions, these comes natural to you.
If you are doing this alone, keep your intention in your heart. If you are doing this with your partner, you could share it with each other so that you are both aware of each other’s intentions, which could be beneficial throughout the experience. Setting an intention allows you to connect with yourself more deeply and relax into the present moment.
Then take a few moments to focus on your breath. Inhale deeply, taking the breath all the way into your tummy, and exhale slowly, concentrating on the pause between each breaths. After a few breaths, you will feel calmer, with all of your worries from the day disappearing. It also allows you to connect with your body by noticing each vibration and so as your partners. This presence in the moment helps you heighten the pleasure and intimacy experienced.
Communicate Openly and Respectfully
Communicate with your partners openly and respectfully throughout your energetic lovemaking session. Share your needs, boundaries, desires and emotions with empathy and mutual care and respect.
Open Yourself Up to Blissful Sensations and Mindful Touch
Having a deeper sense of self-awareness and inner harmony helps you gradually opens the pathway to energetic lovemaking. This self-awareness allows you to connect with the spiritual side of your sexual energy and discover the deeper layers of your being.
Take a couple of deep breaths and consciously slow down, making space for connection as you sit with your partner. Gently hold each other’s hands, facing each other, and let the rest of the world fade away into the background.
Close your eyes and feel any subtle sensations in your body as they gradually intensify. As you focus on the present moment, notice how your breathing deepens, your heartbeat quickens, and muscle tensions begin to melt away. Nothing else matters right now; it’s just you and your partner, fully embracing the present moment with open and receptive hearts and minds. This mindful presence sets the tone for a deeply intimate experience in which every touch and breath reflects the bond you share.
Let go of any expectations or pressures regarding sex. Instead, simply allow the experience to unfold naturally. Focus on the sensations without worrying about reaching any particular goal. There is no orgasms to achieve, this present moment itself become orgasmic and savor the purity of the moment.
Continue to engage in mindful touch as you explore each others’ bodies. Whether it’s a gentle caress on your partner’s arm or holding their hand, let each touch express your love, care and mutual respect. Feel the warmth and softness of your skin, and let the natural flow of your bodies guide your movements.
Continue this, cherishing each part of the body with the same tenderness. Every touch becomes an opportunity to be playful, creative and a celebration of life…
Moving Your Sexual Energy Through Your Chakras
Chakras are energy hotspots in your body which extend from the base of your spine to the top of your head. Each has its own personality, including a distinct set of emotions, desires, and physical sensations.
When we have sex, many of us naturally focus on the primal and physical sensations found in our lower chakras. But what if we could enhance that experience? As you you be intimate with your partner, imagine your energy rising and flowing to your higher chakras. Imagine a gentle, warm light moving through your body, enveloping you, unifying your physical and spiritual selves.
Take deep breaths, feeling each inhale and exhale moving through your body, touching every energy centre along the way. You can discover new sources of pleasure and intimacy by tuning into your chakras and channeling your sexual energy to various energy centres. As you climb through the chakras, we form strong emotional bonds with your partners and experience a sense of oneness. For instance, when intimacy is felt through your heart chakra, you might feel a rush of love, compassion, and a renewed sense of freedom.
My meditation master used to say that moving through the chakras from lower to higher is the longest spiritual journey you can ever take!
During intimacy, connecting with your chakras is like embarking on a spiritual inner journey. The focus has now shifted from physical pleasure to a journey that explores all contours of your emotions and desires, bringing you immense joy, and deepening your spiritual connection to both yourself and your partner.
Embrace the Journey and Appreciate the Uniqueness of Each Experience
Remember that lovemaking is not just about ejaculation or reaching an orgasm. Take your time and enjoy every moment with yourself and your partner. Accept the beauty of each experience and the journey itself, acknowledging the uniqueness of every moment and every touch. Allow things to unfold naturally without rushing or setting expectations. The only expectation is to just Be and flow.
It is time we stop approaching sex and intimacy with a sense of urgency, as if it were just another task to complete. We have enough tasks in our lives; sex and intimacy should be the last one on that list to tick off. Sex is and can be so much more than a chore; it allows for deep connections and mindfulness. When we shift our perspective and embrace the deeper aspects of intimacy, we gain access to a world of abundance and fulfilment, which nourishes our souls.
